Fall & Winter '09!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, holy moly, where does the time go? My apologies to our loyal followers out there - those of you that have this page bookmarked, desperately hitting refresh again and again to no avail. We're sorry. We understand that you want, need even, your Rocky news fast and up to the minute, and we've failed you. Maybe if he'd just stop growing so damn fast we'd have a chance to catch our breath and could do something useful like updating this here blog type thing...

Anyhoo, until we figure out a way to safely slow Rocky's growth (all suggestions, recipes, and potions are welcome) here's a look back at the last few months round these parts.


What autumn would be complete without a trip to 'Ye Olde Overpriced Useless Gourd Pile'? If nothing else, when Rocky grows up and looks at this picture he'll think to himself, 'They paid $5.50 for a f***ing gourd???'


Of course, autumn wouldn't be complete without Halloween, and Halloween not without costumes! Yes, Super-Rocky was born! Shortly after this photo was taken Rocky saved a school bus full of children from falling into the Grand Canyon, nabbed a couple of would-be bank robbers in Manhattan, AND found time to take Lois Lane out for a drink. (Rocky had an O'Doul's, natch)


Soon after Halloween, Aunty Victoria and Grammy Joanne breezed into town, and a good time was had by all!


In this pic we see Grammy Joanne feeding Rocky some bread...AND the last photographic evidence of Grammy Joanne's beloved right hand.


Aunty Victoria and Rocky became fast friends at the park, and apparently even developed a couple private jokes between the two of them. Here's to hoping none of those jokes are at the expense of Dad.


Rocky loves his Grammy Joanne.


And then there was Thanksgiving. This photo is to serve no purpose other than to illustrate how nicely I can set a table...Does EVERYTHING have to be about Rocky?? Sheeeeesh.


We ate, we drank, we made merry - and then this happened. Not sure exactly what Uncle Dylan and Rocky are up to here but it looks vaguely ceremonial, and now I'm worried that Rocky has been made some sort of 'Grand Poobah' in a cult. Never, I mean NEVER, again will I invite Uncle Dylan to Thanksgiving.

And, while abbreviated, that pretty much brings us up to speed. Stay tuned for a Christmas 2009 update, likely posted sometime in late 2010.

Summer, '09 - RECAP!!!!

Ah, 'tis bittersweet...Summer has ended, but boy, what a summer it was! It was positively packed to the gills with all the trips, visits, firsts, and all other manner of kooky hi-jinks a one-year-old can possibly handle. So, pour yourself a white wine spritzer, kick your shoes off, and enjoy a breezey recap of the summer that was...

Late spring/early summer saw us settling into our new apartment (1 of 27 we've had in the last 5 years for those of you keeping score), and enjoying some quiet Saturdays at home with our rapidly developing son.

The good news was (and remains) that no matter how advanced Rocky gets, no matter how much he walks, or starts to talk, he LOVES to be naked, and, quite honestly, we love it when he is - I mean, look at him! If I was this cute naked, I'd be showing up to work in my birthday suit.

(just in case anyone needed more proof of Rocky's cuteness whilst au naturale - see above)

Early summer saw Grammy Linda swoop into town and spend a little QT with the little man.

And yet, throughout all this effervescent frivolity, Rocky remained calm.

Smack dab in the middle of summer we went to Chicago to see pretty much all of Rocky's immediate family, wish Angie & Steve and their brood good luck on their move to Malaysia, and get some good visiting time in with friends and family we don't get to see as much of as we'd like...

(if the above is a run-on sentence, I certainly apologize)


Two Grammy's at once! Yahoooo!

Obviously, Rocky very much enjoyed seeing his cousin, Fatima.

And he loved seeing Al & Mag...Those crazy artists! They must of spent a fortune on that Franz Kline hanging in the background!!

But, soon enough we were back in Los Angeles and it was Rocky's first birthday, which saw the arrival of his cousin Mata, and a little champagne consumption by a minor...Sounds like a party to me!

Of course, no party is complete without three kinds of cake, balloons, and enough champagne to slow down even the strongest ox (i.e. Dad).

Yes, Rocky knows how to party.

To be quite honest, the whole family knows how to party, ESPECIALLY Aunt Amy and Aunt Lupe.

And, sometimes things get a little out of hand, as this photo of Mama's bruised eye (blackened at the hands of a celebratory and toy wielding one-year-old who shall remain nameless) so painfully proves.

But the Moran/Tyre clan is NOT the kind of family that let's a black eye slow them down, particularly when cousin Mata is in town, and summer is in full swing - No, we soldiered forward and introduced Rocky to some of our celebrity friends!

Mama has always been a fan of Mr. Pierced Bronzenned...She says she likes his charismatic nature and excellent posture...I say I don't wanna think about what she really likes about him.

Whereas me and my special pal, Britney, connect on a wholly intellectual level.


Soon after Mata flew back to Chicago, we were visited by Rachel & Tim from New York, and their adorable daughter, Eleanor.


All in all, it was a very packed summer that has left us pooped. We're very much looking forward to a quiet autumn and the 110 degree heat that comes with it.

Chi-Town!

So, July found us heading to Chicago in order to celebrate two birthdays: Our beloved nation's 233rd, and our beloved baby boy's first! Behold the glory that is photographic evidence of the best 4th of July in history...

(Big thank you to Uncle Jamie and his always fantastic photos)

Holy Moly, Swimtastic Swimming!!!!

I spend most Saturdays in a hammock, usually leafing through the latest Galaxy of Mailbox Values™ and sipping a mojito. I won't lie - it's a good life. But, a few Saturdays ago, mid-mojito Rocky walked up to me and said, "Dad, I'd like to take swimming classes."

I was shocked! I mean why swimming over, say, shot putting?? No matter. In my tireless quest to be the perfect father I've decided that whatever Rocky wants, he will get. So, Rocky wanted swimming lessons? Well, Rocky got 'em.

All it took was a quick trip down to the Hollywood "Y", a couple of greased palms, and before you know it we were havin' a gay ol' time!

And we're off! Take a close look at the action here. In fact, pay close attention to the great distance between us (second team from right) and the rest of the miserable losers in the class - There's a good three feet between us and the rest of the herd! Turns out not only did Rocky have an interest in swimming, but a natural ability on par with some of our beloved Earth's most precious aquatic animals! The kid is like a goddamned mako shark! Who knew??!!

And a champion is born! Seriously, this baby is like a combination of Greg Louganis and the Submariner. We've just completed the first four week session and will start the next session this Saturday. Look out world!!!

Eating!

Eating is a big deal for babies. And, eating for big babies (30 pounds and not yet a year) is an even bigger deal. Swear to god, there was one time the damn kid tried to eat my own hand. Seriously. Had I left it there - hovering near his mouth, kiddie spoon in hand - just another nanosecond longer, I might now be missing a precious appendage. Thankfully it didn't come to that and I now know to don lead-lined oven mitts when feeding the tyke.

Look at how happy Rocky is here. Happy because his belly is full of the two jars of baby food, one whole banana, half cup of couscous, entire pineapple, two quarts of ice cream, liter of root beer, and half a deep dish pizza I frantically had flown in from Chicago ("Hello, Connie's? My baby has lost his mind and is eating everything in sight! Please! Send help!).


Sometimes things get a little messy. This much is to be understood. And, sometimes, well, sometimes things get weird. This photo was snapped after a memorable feeding session that left not only Rocky's visage pocked with drool slathered Cheerios™, but the floor, ceiling, dog, and yours truly as well.

Potty time! (And other breaking stories...)

Here's Rocky sittin' on his brand new potty. Feel free to share pics of you on your potty!

Amazingly, Lupe's breath doesn't seem to bother him.

Jen is a licensed, card-carryin', ivory tickler...

Generally happy baby, awaiting foodstuffs. Pig in background courtesy Mz. Maggie Butler.

Weekend afternoon at Amoeba with Dad (turns out Rocky is a big Hall & Oates fan - I mean, c'mon...Maneater? What's not to like?).

Grammy Linda!

Well, well, well, Grammy Linda came into town recently for a short visit and it was grand! In the time she was here there was plenty of kisses, strawberry eating, and memory-foam laying! There was truly a little something for everyone, and we greatly look forward to her next visit! Yay!

A Few of Rocky's Favorite Things...

Kids are weird, right? That's much is common knowledge. And, if kids are weird, then babies are bat-shit INSANE - that can't be argued. Need proof? Then take a look below at just a couple of the things that Rocky seems to LOVE, the things that hold his attention much more than a pretty mobile or heirloom-quality wooden toy - no, the things that babies can't seem to get enough of are random and downright strange.

To the untrained eye this may seem to be just another bath toy. But to Rocky it is his closest confidant, the friend that goes with him everywhere in and out of the bath, his most trusted adviser, his rock.


Baby oil. Sure, he seems to sorta' like it being rubbed on his body post-bathtime, but what does he really love? The bottle itself. He can be crying like crazy and I whip this thing out, and it's nothing but smiles from there on. We've already decided that once the contents are gone, this thing is getting washed and becoming a permanent fixture in his toy collection.


You could take every toy that was thoughtfully given to us by a friend or family member, or any of the toys we've picked out and bought ourselves, and lay them on the rug next to a remote, and the kid goes for the remote - in the mouth, banging against the floor, and , my personal favorite, thrust in the direction of my face.

Ouch.